What Cheeses Me Off!?!@#$

“OH”

April 30, 2010
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What truly cheeses me off, grinds my gears, makes me want to kill someone, is when I am texting someone or talking to someone through an Instant Messenger of some sort and they respond with “OH” and nothing else. JUST “OH.” SOOOO DAMN ANNOYING. Oh means absolutely nothing. It doesn’t agree with anything. It doesn’t make a statement of any sort. It just makes someone sound like a Neanderthal!   “K” is annoying too, but at least “K” makes some type of agreement.

Basically, if someone texts me “oh”, I wont reply to it, or I will say something bitchy, or I will repeatedly text the person back “oh” in a bunch of separate texts. I would say that all of those are reasonable responses.

P.S. This is my last blog. Since my class is over, I don’t have to blog anymore. Maybe if something cheeses me off in the summer I will let you know >:)

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Spelling Things Wrong On Purpose

April 29, 2010
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Doez dis shyt ovah hurr annoy u becuz it iz sometyng dat piissez me off eurrytyme I c it?

Why do some people insist on writing this way? It hurts my eyes to read this. I can understand it if you are doing this to abbreviate certain words, but come on you don’t have to alter every damn word. Some of them are not even abbreviated words like “tyme.” Is it that difficult to just write it correctly? It definitely takes more effort and time to write this way.

I’m assuming that people who write this way think it is cool. Who ever thought looking stupid would be the new cool.


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Most Annoying Pain!

April 29, 2010
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There are two things that you can do to your body that is minor but still has a lingering pain. Those two things are: paper cuts & stubbing toes.

Just the idea of paper cuts grinds my gears! Why should something that looks so harmless and innocent tear my skin apart? Paper cuts aren’t that painful, but they are painful enough to make you clench your teeth and scream something out loud to let out the annoying pain. If you touch something acidic like the juice of an orange and your paper cut gets a taste, you will tear up. The worst place to get a paper cut is between the fingers. Cheese & Rice those are sooo annoying!@# Those sting the most I have to say.

I would rank stubbing toes as more annoying than paper cuts. When you stub your toes you don’t expect it, and I don’t care who you are, stubbing your toes hurts like a betch! Yeah, the pain goes away rather quickly, but for those first 15 seconds after the stubbing, crying seems like a normal reaction. I feel like I am in agony and that someone should call the hospital. It  hurts so bad I expect my toes to be bleeding profusely. Finally after the pain is gone, you feel dumb for overreacting.


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Overachievers

April 28, 2010
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This blog is a shout out to room 220 in Morris: My number one fans!

Overachievers, you know who you are. You spend too much time doing things no one cares about. If the assignment is a 2 page paper, why do you write 10 pages? That just makes you look stupid not smart.

I feel like overachievers want us to think they are happy, but we know you are not. You play a sport, get good grades, President of Something, help the homeless, and probably walk old ladies cross the street. They do all these things which means THEY HAVE NO LIFE! I’m not jealous of you, sorry toots. I actually have friends. Friends are people who talk to you regardless of how crappy of a person you are. You go out to places with these people called friends. They even help you out with your problems sometimes. Maybe one day an overachiever can experience a friendship. Unlikely though.

My favorite is when an overachiever does way to much on a project. It could be a project on the jungle and they will bring live monkeys, tigers, and a couple of zebras for their visual presentation. Write a 25 page thesis on how to save the jungle. After all of that, I get the same grade as them. Hahahahahahahah. Priceless.

***Since when is “overachiever” one word? That cheeses me off. It should be 2 separate words.


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Potent Smell

April 26, 2010
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People who wear too much perfume or cologne !@#$@# GO AWAY! Some people wear so much that it hurts my eyes & messes with my taste buds. I’d rather smell body odor instead. Can they smell themselves? Do they own a working nose? People who wear too much scent remind me of : 

Pepe Le Pew!!!

Of course the common too much perfume/cologne jokes are: Did you just bathe in that horrid scent? Did you use the whole damn bottle? I smelled you from a mile away. Can I drown you in your pool of cologne? 

I have noticed it’s usually guys who wear too much scent. I’m assuming they do that to cover up the I-haven’t-showered-in-2-weeks smell. Girls who do it want attention. Yearning for that you-smell-good compliment. Sorry, but neither of you smell decent, you smell like shizz.


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“please leave a message after the….”

April 23, 2010
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All you want to do is get a hold of someone. They don’t answer any of your texts, so now you have to actually use a phone for what it is made for and dial a number to get a hold of that person. And of course!! They do not anwser, so you get sent straight to message. No matter how prepared you are to leave a message, it is still going to sound awkward.

Leaving a voice message is just so wierd. You are basically speaking to yourself. I feel crazy everytime I have to do it. Most, if not all, messages sound like this:

“Hey, soooo ummmm just calling to see where you are. I called for something else, but I don’t remember anymore. Hmmm well uhh call me back…bye… wait! I remember. Buy bread. We ran out. Bye.”

Always  a lot of “uhhh”s and “yeahh”s “soo”s. Just once, I want one of my voice messages to sound good. Ever begin leaving a message and out of no where that annoying generic female voice interrupts, “Sorry, message cannot be recorded.”  Couldn’t have told me that before I poured my soul into that message huh?

Love this commerical! But back on the topic of  hate: I hate when people’s voicemail trick you. You know the one where they pretend to answer the phone:

Person I’m Calling: Hello?
Me:  Hey! I have a question.
P.I.C: What? I can’t hear you.
Me: I said that I have a question
P.I.C: Hahahah just kidding I’m not here. Leave a message.
Me: Go to hell you piece of poop!!!!

So annoying! It is not that funny. I hope you lose a job interview for having that as your voice mail.


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Jean Jackets

April 22, 2010
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I highly dislike jean jackets. They look bad on everyone. It is no longer the 80’s or 90’s, so throw it away please because I don’t want to see them. Sometimes, SOMETIMES, girls can pull it off with a certain outfit, but it is very rare. Guys: don’t even lay a finger on a jean jacket. It’s not worth the risk.

Come on!?@ Look at these people. Jean jackets just ain't right.

How atrocious is that brown collar in this photo? By the way, for some reason as I was searching for a picture for jean jackets in google, Kanye West kept showing up wearing a jean jacket. Apparently he thinks jean jackets are acceptable. He lost a few points there with me.

Jean jacket + other jeans (pants,skirt, dress)= I hope someone lights you on fire.


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Wrong Text

April 19, 2010
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If you have texting then you have been a victim of the WRONG TEXT phenomenon at one point. Sometimes it is not a big deal if you send something like, “How are you?” to the wrong person because you can play that off. Although, it would suck if you sent that “how are you?” to someone super random (like the guy you throw up on the weekend before or the girl who just found out you were sleeping with her boyfriend) that can  lead to awkward conversation. 

Normally I don’t do the whole wrong text thing, but even I can slip up sometimes. I know it is just so hard to believe that. Anyways, it seems that you send that wrong text to the person you are talking about in the text. Sometimes they can be embarrassing like, “John Smith’s ass looked great in those jeans today.” John maybe be flattered from receiving that text, but now he probably knows you have a shrine of him in your closet, and all you need is that little hat he wears to complete your shrine (If you don’t get this reference, you had no childhood).

Then there are texts that can ruin relationships. For example: “Did you see Claire Jones’ new hair cut? Can you say Shim (She+him)?” Or, “Have you noticed Patty has a hairy upper lip. Is she on Roids??” Hard to bounce back from comments like that. Sometimes people are victims from wrong text syndrome when they have two names that are similar in their phonebook. Dad and Darrel are close enough to send accidental sext messages.

Be careful when texting. Don’t become a victim.


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This ruined my day

April 16, 2010
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So I go into the school cafeteria, and as usual there is nothing that tickles my fancy. So I settle on a sandwich; can’t really go wrong with that. I chose the roast beef sandwich, and I asked for it to get toasted. Everything is going to plan. My sandwich comes out the toaster conveyor belt. “What would you like on the sandwich,” asks the sandwich lady. “I would like lettuce and tomatoes, please.” I even said please. The sandwich lady then says, “There are no tomatoes.” “There are no tomatoes?@#$” I asked all confused. HOW ARE THERE NO TOMATOES AT THE SANDWICH STATION?!!!!! And why didn’t they tell me this before I even ordered anything? At that point, I didn’t even want the sandwich. I just wanted to throw it in the persons face who forgot to get tomatoes for the day. My only other options of tomatoes are cherry or diced, and everybody knows that those don’t work on sandwiches. This is a little petty, but it was enough for me to complain about it for an hour. Yep, 1 whole hour of me complaining about no tomatoes on my sandwich. And to think that I even paid for this tomato-less sandwich. I should have just dropped it on the floor when I got to the cash register and walked away as if nothing happened.


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Unecessarily Perfect Grass.

April 14, 2010
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I live in a neighborhood where every person loves their grass. They take care of their grass better than they do their damn children. If I’m playing catch outside with one of my a million siblings, and the ball lands in my neighbor’s yard: FORGET IT! I’m better off buying a new ball, or I’d have to hear, “Do you mind not stepping on the grass? Thanks.” They always come out no where to say it too. Like out of their window, or pop out of a bush. I feel like they sit all day just waiting for someone to yell at. That makes me want to gather all the animals in our neighborhood, feed them Ex-Lax, and have them poop all over their ridiculously perfect grass.

Since my neighbors are so concerned about their grass, they hire a bunch of migrant workers to fix it up EVERY MORNING AT LIKE 8 AM!! I’m trying to sleep. It can’t wait till the afternoon? I’m pretty sure your damn grass will still be there in the afternoon. My family is very unconcerned about the grass. We have automatic sprinklers, but we forget to set it. So our grass is basically a withering yellow color in the spots the sun hits it the most. Our lawn has yellow polka-dots pretty much. Our neighbors sometimes ask us if we know what fertilizer is, or if we need the number of their migrant workers. Apparently we are embarrassing the neighborhood with our non perfect grass. I couldn’t care less.

This pic is somewhat relevant to my blog topic.


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